Signs You're An INFJ, The World's Rarest Personality Type
INFJ, referring to one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality
types, has become a bit of a buzzword in the media over the past several
years. The reason behind it: INFJ is considered to be the rarest personality
type, making up less than 2% of the world's entire population. They are labeled
as "The Advocate," and have been described as
"mysterious," "intuitive," and "emotionally
intelligent," yet the type as a whole is often misunderstood.
Oh, and I am one. Perhaps you are, as well.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, created in the 1940's by
mother and daughter, Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs, originally stems from
the typological theories of Carl Jung, a prominent psychoanalyst. The test
assesses an individual in 4 categories: Extroversion vs. Introversion,
Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs. Perceiving, and
using these criteria, determines which category one’s personality most tilts
toward. INFJs would be those individuals whose personalities favor the sides of
Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.
INFJs can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they are not
prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs make
fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized workers, and exceptional
leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.
INFJs often report feeling lonely and "different,"
and for good reason. INFJs are low in numbers so they tend to have
trouble finding others who see the world in the same realm as they do. Most
people who are this type have admitted feeling different from their peers since
they were a very young child.
INFJs take an all-or-nothing approach to life.
INFJs,
a curious mix of emotional and logical, do not like to waste their time on
anything inauthentic. Although they may dabble with playing the field, INFJs
are truly about quality over quantity and will become disinterested in anyone
or anything they perceive as being fraudulent, scheming or wishy-washy.
INFJs exude warmness, and others immediately feel comfortable in
their presence.
It is not uncommon for a
stranger to sit down next to an INFJ and within minutes, disclose their most
personal secrets, fears and dreams. In fact, this happens frequently to INFJs
with seemingly no rhyme or reason. This personality type has a knack for making
others immediately feel at ease, and they are great listeners and trusted
confidants who speak in human terms and meet others where they are.
INFJs are somewhat empathic, and they tend to "just
know" things.
One of
my favorite one-liners from Game of Thrones is by the character, Tyrion
Lannister, "I drink and I know things," and this can
often be said of an INFJ, with maybe fewer libations. INFJs have a
highly-accurate sense of intuition that they have been sharpening for all of
their lives. Without understanding exactly why or how, an INFJ will see, within
minutes of meeting an individual, their true character. As a result, they tend
to be more forgiving of their friends who exhibit unruly behavior because they
can identify the true root of the behavior, such as insecurities or past
trauma.
INFJs ultimately seek genuine truth and meaning.
This personality type does not care one iota about grandiose tales
or extravagant gestures if there is not a true and genuine motive behind them.
An INFJ’s calling in life is to seek insight and understanding, and as they
develop, they often can spot a lie or half-truth in a moment's notice. If they
believe an individual to be a phony or a manipulator, they will have no trouble
writing them off. Likewise, this type often enjoys traveling, adventures and
experiences that heighten their understanding of the intricacies of life and
promote self-reflection.
INFJs are true introverts, yet people not very close to them believe
them to be extroverts.
This happens because INFJs can be social chameleons and have an
innate ability to blend in in any social setting. The INFJ can be the life of
the party for a night or two, showcasing their inviting nature and
vivaciousness. However, this is never prolonged because, in
introverted-fashion, they lose energy from others. Those close to an INFJ know
that this type prefers bars over clubs and barbecues over balls, and can give a
speech to thousands of people but cringes at the idea of mingling with the
crowd afterward. Eventually, this type will need to retreat home for some quiet
time to "recharge their batteries," or they will become very on-edge
and exhausted.
INFJs have intense, unwavering convictions, sometimes to a
fault.
An INFJ has certain ideas about the world and a need to foster
change in society. These are deep-seated and intense beliefs that they will
never abandon. If a career, relationship, or law does not align with their
moral compass, an INFJ will have no qualms about ignoring it or leaving it in
the dust.
INFJs tend to keep a small circle of friends and prefer to work
alone.
Although an INFJ may have hundreds of acquaintances, if they call
you a "friend," you can be sure that they mean it for life. This type
can count their close friends on a set of fingers and they will be loyal and
devoted to these prized individuals no matter how much time passes between
their interactions. An INFJ can be a great team player but the idea of group
projects and collaboration meetings naturally make them sink down in their
seat. These are people who enjoy working from home or in a quaint office with a
handful of like-minded coworkers.
INFJs cannot stand small talk.
This
trait aligns with the need to pursue truth and all things bona fide. To an
INFJ, small talk not only takes energy, but has little purpose as it is merely
speaking to fill silence without revealing any deeper layers of the individuals
involved. Do not talk to an INFJ about the weather unless you want to see a
glazed-over look. Instead, tell them about the causes you are promoting, the
wish-list of your soul, or the way you smile every time you smell lavender
because it reminds you of your great grandmother.
INFJs are typically high-achievers and people-pleasers.
If you want a task done right the first time, hand it over to an
INFJ. They will plan every detail down to the minute and will always deliver a
glowing finished product. However, when delivering criticism to this type, do
it gently, as they take every word to heart and are always striving for
perfection. This type is a unique blend of a dreamer and a doer, but they can
easily fall prey to extreme bouts of anxiety or depression centered on feelings
of inadequacy or failure.
INFJs are gifted in language and are often creative writers.
In
accordance with their introverted nature, INFJs prefer to spend time alone and
develop enriched inner-lives with many hobbies and skills. This type has
trouble conveying their emotions verbally, so they turn to pen and paper. This,
combined with their creative nature, leaves no surprise that the majority of
successful writers are, in fact, INFJs.
INFJs make decisions based off of emotion and insight.
An INFJ judges the world around them and the people in it based
off of how they make them feel. This type does not care about track records and
performance history, instead they look for the heart of the matter and how a
person or company treats them personally. This type will trust their "gut
feeling" about a situation and go with that, which has almost always
proven to be accurate.
INFJs like to reflect on deep thoughts about their purpose and the world around them.
This type is a thinker. INFJs
are old-souls who spend a lot of time in their own minds reflecting on their
purpose and the meaning behind everything that happens to them. They are often
readers, researchers and intellectuals who truly enjoy learning. Although this
is a noble endeavor, it is essential that the INFJ has friends, typically of
the extroverted type, who can help them to be less serious and relax every now
and then.
INFJs are visionaries who always see the big picture.
This type tends to always operate about ten steps ahead. They are
skilled planners and focus their sights on the end goal and what is needed to
propel them there. However, while INFJs are off in dreamland about their
futures, they can sometimes forget to be present in the world that is happening
now. As a result, they do well with other more grounded types who can remind
them to live in the moment.
INFJs are "fixers," and they gravitate towards people
who need help.
This type loves a good fixer-upper and with their ability to see
the "good bones" of another person, their true motives and
intentions, and to readily provide comfort and compassion, they fall victim to
the Broken Wing Theory, or the idea that they can rescue others who have a
"broken wing," or who have been dealt a poor hand. This can be
rewarding for the hopeful INFJ but also frustrating and depleting when boundaries
are overstepped.
INFJs seek lifelong, true-blue relationships.
This type usually finds themselves with intuitive extroverts, such
as the ENTPs, ENFPs, and ENFJs. These types connect with the INFJ on the deeper
plane of intuition, yet also will get the INFJ out of their own heads and out
on the town on a Saturday night.

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